A Friend in the Family
by Ellie Dee
Summary: Joey is made an offer he can't refuse.


TITLE: "A Friend in the Family."  
AUTHOR: Ellie Dee   
EMAIL: Ellie_Dee@hotmail.com   
WEBSITE: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Blues_and_Brass  
CATAGORY: Friends/Soprano's crossover.   
RATING: PG13-R  
SUMMARY: Joey's made an offer he can't refuse.  
SPOILERS: Consider anything through the fourth season of The Sopranos and  
the ninth season of Friends to be fair game.  
DISCLAIMER: Friends, The Sopranos and their associated characters are the  
intellectual property of David Chase, David Crane, Marta Kauffman, HBO   
and NBC. Here to entertain, please don't sue.  
DISTRIBUTION: You want it, you can have it. Just please keep my name  
and Email address on it and let me know where it's wandered off to.   
FEEDBACK: Please!!! This is my drug of choice and I really need a fix.  
DEDICATION: To the person who said it couldn't be done; my main partner  
in crime Dopey Dee Jr. Love ya girl!  
  
  
"A Friend in the Family."  
By Ellie Dee  
  
Suddenly, Joey Tribbiani rushed into the Central Perk coffee shop   
and found his five closest friends sitting in their usual places.  
  
"Guys you are never going to guess what just happened to me."  
  
"What, you found a new marshmallow shape in your Lucky Charms?" asked   
Chandler.  
  
"Naw, that was yesterday and besides this is bigger."  
  
Bouncing up and down with excitement Phoebe said, "You found out   
your the heir to the throne of a small but rich kingdom in Europe.   
And you have to marry Renee' Zellweger!"   
  
"Hey , that would make a pretty good story for 'Days of Our Lives.'   
But naw, that's not it either."   
  
"Well what happened?" asked Rachel.  
  
"Guys, I got a job on a TV series."  
  
With this Joey's five friends stare at him, then Monica spoke up.  
  
"We know Joey, you've been on 'Days of Our Lives' for over a year."  
  
"I'm not talking about 'Days'. I got offered a part on a real TV   
show."  
  
"'Days,' isn't a real TV show?" asked Ross.  
  
"Guys, it's a Daytime Drama. Other producers hardly ever look at   
someone from Daytime Dramas. So if you get a shot at a job on real   
TV, you take it. Besides they plan to have my character in a coma   
for probably the next six months, so I'm only gonna be on once in   
a while."  
  
Looking thoughtful, Gunther asked, "So what's the show?"  
  
Joey suddenly seemed nervous. Then after looking up at his friends   
he said, "It's the Soprano's."   
  
All around Joey, his five friends jumped to their feet and began   
to congratulate him.  
  
"Joey, that's wonderful"  
  
"Hey that's great!"  
  
"Yeah, my character's suppose to be this ex-navy SEAL who gets   
kicked out for bein' a loose cannon. You know, somebody they just   
can't control."  
  
"Ah, just the kind of person they need in organized crime," joked   
  
Chandler.  
  
"Yeah," nodded Joey in agreement. "The director said my character   
would fit in cause he's real good with weapons and he knows how   
to do all that rough stuff. The plan is for my character, his   
name's Roberto 'Bobby' Santiago. But when they find out he was a   
SEAL they start callin' him 'Bobby da Fish' cause he's sent so   
many people swimmin'."   
  
"Swimming?" Ross asked confused.  
  
"You know, with the fishes."  
  
Still looking confused, Ross stood there staring at his friend.  
  
"That means he's killed people." Rachel added.  
  
"Oh."   
  
"Anyway, Bobby's been traveling around since he got out. Well he's   
passin' by when Tony's daughter Meadow is bein' mugged by a couple   
of drug addicts in a parking lot at her school"  
  
"Tony and his wife show up just as Bobby saves Meadow from the   
muggers. Now Tony's really pumped up and he's about to shoot the   
muggers when Meadow stops him, so he just kicks the guys around."   
  
"While their layin' there moanin' Tony and Carmella thank Bobby.   
Then before they leave, Tony tells Bobby to get in touch with   
him the next day."  
  
"What's he going to do? Give him a job?" asked Monica.   
  
"Yeah. Tony's really impressed about how Bobby handled himself.   
That's one of the really cool things. They're gonna set me up with   
a whole bunch of trainers, you know for guns and martial arts and   
stuff."  
  
"Anyway, Tony thinks Bobby could make a real good member of his   
family. So he offers him a job."  
  
"This gagster wants you to marry his daughter?"  
  
Everyone stares at Ross in confusion till Joey asks, "What are you   
talkin' about? I never said anything about marring Meadow. But come  
ta think of it, she is pretty hot."  
  
Off to the side Phoebe nods on agreement.   
  
"But you said this Tony guy wants you to be a member of his family."  
  
"He means his crime family. You know, the Mob," said Monica. "Jeez   
Ross, haven't you ever watched the show?"   
  
"Well there's usually something on PBS at the same time," Ross   
replied sulking.  
  
Shaking her head in frustration, Rachel turned back to Joey and   
said, "Go on Joey, what else happens?"  
  
"Well like I said he offers Bobby a job and over the next couple   
a weeks Tony gets more and more impressed. Bobby becomes Tony's   
favorite and ends up bein' made in no time at all."  
  
"Made?" Ross squeaked.   
  
"It means he goes from being a plain foot soldier to a lieutenant,"   
added Phoebe.  
  
"Yeah, thanks Pheebs. The director says that when everybody sees   
Bobby gettin' all this attention it's gonna' cause a lota drama   
to unfold. So my character's gonna be right in the center of things   
and I'm gonna get a lot of good exposure."   
  
"This could really help your career," remarked Chandler. "I guess   
you could say they made you an offer you couldn't refuse."  
  
"Kinda'. They're gonna pay me more than twice what I make on 'Days'."  
  
Seeing the look on Joey's face, Monica asked, "Then what's wrong?"  
  
"My dad is gonna kill me!" Joey said as he bowed his head.   
  
"Why?" Everyone asked together.  
  
"Guys, it's the Soprano's," he said looking up. Seeing that they   
didn't understand, he explained, "Most Italians like the show, but   
some think it just makes all of us look like a bunch of criminals."  
  
"You mean as opposed to just the Italians from New Jersey who work   
in waste management. Ow!" Chandler joked as Monica elbowed him in   
the ribs.  
  
"Well yeah. And dad's one of 'em."  
  
Looking excited, Phoebe asked, "Your dad's in the Mafia? I thought   
he was a plumber?"  
  
"No...I mean, yeah he's a plumber, but he probably hates the   
Soprano's. He's never watched it, but he hates movies like   
'The Godfather'."  
  
"Joey why don't you just talk to your dad?" Monica asked, "Who   
knows, he might see how good a part this is and realize what it   
can do for you."  
  
"Yeah maybe," said Joey doubtfully. Standing, he made his way to   
the door. "Thanks anyway guys, but I gotta go figure this out for   
myself." He then turned and left.  
  
~*~  
Later that evening Joey found his friends at Monica and Chandler Bing's   
apartment.   
  
From where he was sitting on the couch, Ross looked over at   
Joey and asked, "Where have you been?"  
  
"I went for a long walk and I decided I was gonna turn down the   
part. But when I got to the studio I couldn't find any of the   
production staff, so I went and had a talk with Jimmy...."  
  
"Jimmy?" asked Rachel.  
  
"Yeah, you know, Mr. Gandolfini."   
  
"You mean, you call James Gandolfini, Jimmy?" asked Chandler. "That   
is like SO cool!"  
  
"Sure, why not?" Joey asked casually. "He says I'm part of the family.   
Anyway, Jimmy said he'd talk to David Chase, you know, the producer.   
And they'd work something out so I could stay on the show."   
  
~*~  
  
Twelve weeks later-  
  
Monica and Chandler's apartment was crowded with the six friends   
and Joey's parents. They watched in silence as Joey's character   
shook Tony Soprano's hand.  
  
"Yeah Mr. Soprano, I'd like that."  
  
"The names Tony, kid," said the Capo as he reached into his pocket   
and handed Joey a wad of bills. "Here, go get yourself fixed up   
and we'll get you started tomorrow. Be here around 10, ok?"  
  
Again shaking the mobsters hand, Joey said, "Thanks Tony. I'll see   
you tomorrow."   
  
With that, Joey's character turned and left the Bada Bing Club.   
Walking in the rain across the parking lot he climbed into his jeep.   
  
He drove in silence for several miles down a dark wet road. Taking   
a turn off into the woods he drove up a muddy one lane strip till   
he came to a clearing where another car was parked.  
  
Joey pulled his jeep up next to the other car. After a moment both   
drivers rolled down their windows.   
  
"Well," the man driving the sedan asked.  
  
"I'm in. Soprano's going to get me started tomorrow."  
  
"Excellent, I knew you were just what we needed for this Op. when   
I saw you at the Academy at Quantico. Now that we have a man on   
the inside we can start to take this family apart."  
  
"What about my background?"  
  
"I've had some friends from across the river muddy up your history.   
They've made you look like even more of a 'Stone Killer' than you   
SEAL's usually do. And don't worry, they've hidden your Psychology   
degree, but make sure you don't forget to use it. I want you playing   
head games with these guys from Day One."   
  
"Director, those guys that attacked Meadow....You sent them, didn't   
you?"  
  
"Bobby, the Bureau has been after the Soprano family for years.   
Especially since they developed ties to the Russian mob and so far   
we've gotten nowhere. We need a break and if that means that little   
Soprano whore gets hurt, then too bad. I intend to bring down their   
entire family once and for all."  
  
"What about Agent Harris?"   
  
"Dwight's a good man but he's hampered by our laws. He's not a   
soldier, like you. He can't understand that sometimes you have   
to do whatever it takes to get the job done."  
  
With that, the man in the sedan rolled up his window and pulled   
away.  
  
Joey's character sat there for several seconds as he stared out   
his window. "Whatever it takes," he said as the screen went dark   
and the closing music began.  
  
~*~  
  
For nearly a minute the only sound in the apartment was the   
Soprano's theme music. Then everyone sprung to their feet.  
  
Quickly Rachel and Phoebe wrapped their arms around the young   
actor and began to kiss him.  
  
"Joey that was great!"  
  
"Yeah Joey that was really cool!"  
  
"Thanks Mon, Chandler."  
  
"Oh Joey, I'm so proud of you!" Exclaimed Mrs. Tribbiani as   
she pulled her cell phone out of her purse. "I just have to   
call my friend Estelle and tell her all about this."  
  
"So, your character is really an FBI agent playing at being   
a criminal."   
  
"Can't get anything past you, can we Ross?"  
  
Holding her hand over her cell phone Mrs. Tribbiani said,   
"Phoebe, you never told us you were going to be in the   
Soprano's also."  
  
"Oh that wasn't me Mrs. Tribbiani."  
  
"But that dancer at the club looked just like you."  
  
"That was my sister Ursula. She's the slut of the family."  
  
"So dad, what do you think?"  
  
Mr. Tribbiani was silent for sometime. Then finally he said,   
"What do I think? I think it stinks, I'm ashamed of you. How   
could you do such a thing?"  
  
"But my character's an FBI agent......I thought you'd be proud   
of me."  
  
"Proud that my son's a rat? How can you turn on a man that's   
been so good to you?"  
  
"But Dad, it's just a TV show.   
  
"That's right Estelle, my little Joey's a Made Man. He even   
calls Mr. Gandolfini, Jimmy. Can you immagine?"   
  
THE END 


End file.
